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The Maple Grove Minnesota high school hockey team did WHAT?

by Bill McGaughey

This was the most bizarre news story I’ve seen in all my years, something more suitable for The Onion than the two or three local television news programs that carried it last night.

The Maple Grove hockey coach, flanked by the school principal and district superintendent, said the incident was the most difficult situation he had experienced in his 32 years of coaching. He was placed on a day’s paid administrative leave. The hockey players were suspended for several games.

The principal said a committee comprised both of educators and students would be studying the incident to make sure that nothing like this ever happened again. These educators were on top of the situation. They took the unfortunate incident very, very seriously.

And what had actually happened? No one would say because of privacy concerns.

I could not sleep last night wondering about the mysterious events that had taken place in a suburb not too far from my Minneapolis home. Had one or more of the hockey players used the N-word in the presence of African Americans? Was it an anti-Semitic incident of some sort? Had a gay student been bullied?

Or maybe the hockey players had engaged in inappropriate behavior with underage girls at a party? Maybe they had sent a letter of fraternal greetings to al Qaeda in Yemen? Some of them may have used drugs or alcohol to excess? Or perhaps team members had mooned the public from the bus traveling to a hockey game? The story was a template for any number of items that television journalists regularly report.

Whatever this problem was, school administrators were on top of it. It’s always a struggle to keep suburban kids from wandering off the reservation.


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